I unfollowed a few people today because they’re annoying little girls, their post have no significant value, their dash is always full of drama and angry gifs. , and they spam it like freaking CRAZY. I’m happy with the people I follow though <3 Favorites?
Fuckyeahsexyasians <—— What can I say, I just love asian girls <3
Fuckyeahtattoos <—- These people get tattoos for actual reasons and the stories are fascinating. Don’t forget the tattoos pwn :D
hoi-hoi <—— cute yet thought provoking post ;D
toomanymilesaway <—— original post and personality is amazing
Mayumi-chan <—— always finds something interesting to reblog, has awesome post of her own and she can make banner like things :D
xianknockout <—— Not to in to MMA as much but it’s nice to stay informed. She has wicked post anyway and looks so awesome >..< I didn’t say beautiful because beauty usually doesn’t have muscle/fighting involved but she has both :D If anything, she’s a beautiful knockout ^^
Highexpectationsasianfather <—— Asiany dad post with humor? FAWK yeah!!!
eurasianmutt <—— Basically the reason why I started following anyone in general. I won’t lie, I found her by typing in “asian” in the search bar but when I read her posts, it wasn’t her beauty but her brains that stood out from the crowd of people I saw. She’s my personal favorite because her life is interesting, she’s witty, friendly :D, (did I mentioning toooooo beautiful?) and her ideas are revolutionary. I remember reading the first few pages of her Tumblr and I couldn’t believe my eyes. She had one practically dissing make-up for all the wrong it does to a woman today and I instantly knew I was hooked on her posts.
Thanks to all of you who have something worthy to say, anything funny to post, creating ideas that make me wonder, providing eye candy, changing my life for the better and above all, being yourselves <3
I play video games/distract myself so I won’t think or use my brain
Whenever I have free time to myself, I despise every moment of it
The worst part about being me is how low I make myself feel when I think too much
The reason I hate not playing or watching tv (which I don’t really like) is: I think more than I should when I have nothing to distract myself. Insane amounts of depression kick in, I get teary eyed once in a while and despite all that, I never have anyone to hold me through the roughest times (aka thinking) in my life
I love a girl named Beatriz Verdin and would gladly give my life for her for 3 main reasons:
1) I love her
2) My life isn’t really exciting or considered “awesome” to most
3) I couldn’t live without her, wouldn’t want to live a life where she’s not mine and what purpose would I have for living if the only person I dedicate my whole life for is no longer around.
At this moment, tears are running down my face just thinking about her and how much I’m willing to give but she’ll never know just how much I have sacrificed to give her everything I have. I can see the life she’ll live without me once she forgets about me. I’m moving to Utah soon and I know she’ll live her life by partying, drinking, going out with her BF, getting attention from many guys and telling her friends (if not me) about how she got hit on or how many hot guys she saw, go out to eat often, laugh and joke around with all her friends, won’t really spend time with her family, be constantly hurt from relationship stuff but above all, I know I won’t be “the one” for her. I want to give up on love so badly. For the past 10 months, I’ve gone through mostly hell and it was all in the name or feeling of love.
Please, just stop hurting me so badly love. I cry about you often in my mind since I can rarely ever cry anymore from the amount of times I already have. I really hate how you’re what keeps me up at night and makes me want to seek out just the tiniest bit from anyone. I hate how I realized that one of the reasons I talk so sweetly to girls sometimes (besides the fact that I’m just being nice) is because I want to feel any amount of love I possibly can. One little “I love you”, “<3” or just a shine of appreciation is what gives me a tiny bit of hope that real love will find it’s way to me. I can’t believe the thoughts I have sometimes… I HATE HOW I CAN’T FUCKING CRY BECAUSE THE VOICE IN MY HEAD (because of how I was raised) makes me stop crying by saying “Stop that and man up”. There are countless times where I cried and stopped because of the fear that voice gives me. I feel like I’m judged by someone inside me for crying because it’s a “gir’s only thing” when all I really want is to release all of this sadness that always stacks up in my mind. I honestly have no one to trust with my feelings and I seldom get help because no one knows about my problems and can’t even fix me. I struggle on a daily basis just to fucking stay alive and tell myself I’m fine when I know the whole world is crashing down on me. It’s been probably 10 minutes so far and I’m still silently crying in my room as I type this. No one in my house knows what’s happening to me right now and not even one knows about or probably even gives a shit about how I feel. I feel so alone… It’s like I’m not even part of this family.. My older brother rarely calls us anymore. My older sister never understands my feelings and makes me feel even shittier when she tells me, “shut up and just get over. Why are you always so fucking depressed?” You can only imagine how horrible it feels to have your own sister not understand you and and make you feel shittier… After 10-15 minutes of writing, I just stopped crying while typing but i’m not done. My mom doesn’t help either since she’s been the one to say, “Shut up and stop crying. That’s only for women”. She’s probably the voice in my head… As for my father, he’s never been around and I would never trust him with my life. He’s never been around because he’s always been working and never took the time to grow up with me as a child. He was always at work while I either attended school, grew up with our family or just simply lived my life… My little brother… He’s an honest soul and I’ve given him so much shit to him in the past but he’s never put me down. I feel like a complete ass now for how I used to treat him…
I just spent about an hour in the bathtub also just reflecting on my life. Imagine me motionless and submerged in water… I had my thoughts haunt me but I couldn’t get out of that void. For one moment out of that whole time spent, I realized I hadn’t heard one voice or sound other than the water or my own thoughts. I ignored the world without knowing and drowned, not in real life, but in my thoughts. My future life was flashing before my eyes in my head and every moment was so miserable. I lost the love of my life, I never found someone to love me, and I contemplated going gay just to have someone treat me like a girl. I once promised I would talk about that so here goes:
I’ve never really been taken care of in my life and I’ve gone through all my own problems but what I envy of women is how there will always be a family member and, more importantly, a guy to take care of her. For the past month or so, I realized that one of the biggest things lacking in my life and what I want the most is to be babied… Men do that for women all the time but I’ve never had that feeling for myself.. I want someone to hold me through all the tough times in my life. I want someone to tell me how good I look everyday no matter how plain I look. I want someone to cuddle up to me every night and say “I’m so lucky to have you” then they ask me about my day while I feel fingers running through my hair in a relaxing motion… I want to be cuddled with and kissed so soft, lovingly and slowly until she says “Good night honey, i’ll always be here for you” and have her eyes and smile be the last thing I see before I go to sleep. I want someone to come pick me up at my house, quite possibly bring some flowers and take me out for an amazing date. I want her to open doors for me, pay for everything I want no matter how expensive or how much I would argue for her to not by me anything, to rest on her arms or legs and have her shield my eyes (if we go to the movies), tell me everything is going to be ok and stroke my hair until I feel comfortable again. I want her to spoil me with a luxurious restaurant, have the famous candle lit dinner and talk with me for hours on end without ever making me feel like I’m a waste of time or just someone to fuck. I want her to embarrass me in front of people we don’t know while exclaiming how much she loves me. I want her to randomly text me just to say, “I hope you’re having a great day but it hurts so much not being around you =’(“. I want her to take me out on an adventure, get lost with me in the woods, find our way back to civilization and share her life stories with me. I want someone to show their love to the point where It’s intensity starts manifesting itself into a physical object that revolves around my heart and never leaves. I want love to orbit my heart the way the moon orbits the world. It never leaves and has a constant glow that’s enjoyed the most at night. I want someone to push me to my extremes and help me reach my full potential in life. I want someone to sing me a song, have me cry tears of joy and help me find the courage to do a duet with her. I want to have someone compose and original love song to share only with me and sing every time I need love… I want someone to go completely out of their way to make sure I’m fine and would drop anything to come to my rescue. I want someone who would drive all the way to my house, send me a message saying “I’m here for you” and worry all night until I was ok from me simply texting, “I really wish you were here… I need you…” I want someone I can share my soul with and get one in return. I want someone who would explore their sexuality along with me only and would make every effort to understand my body, mind and soul while I do the same. I want someone who would never fuck and only make love to me… Out of everything I’ve said, only three really matter in my life. I want someone who actually understands me, shows me love endlessly, keeps me happy while I do the same in return. There you have it, those are some of the ways I can think of that I would want to be treated as a girl… I’m romantic, sentimental and appreciative of every act of kindness or love shown to me. I may be a strange, weird or a different MALE altogether but if one girl can help me feel appreciated for who I am, make me completely normal in her eyes, love me unconditionally ( I would never do anything wrong against her) and look into my eyes with her to say a heartfelt “I love you”, I will have finally found Love… For now, these represent my thoughts and I no longer feel as if I should be looking for love… Utah has Neumont University for me but I don’t want to be burdened by love anymore… Please, no one ask me out and reject me every time I ask you out but do show me love just once, that’s all I ask for….
P.S. I completely lost track of time, didn’t look even once at the clock and I have no idea how long I spent on this.
It seems that not a day goes by that I don’t hear someone say “Girls? Yeah, they’re pretty much all the same; Bitches, so you just get with them just until they give in, you have your fun, and then move on to the next one when you’re done.” It’s either that or “Girls…. Sigh… Yeah, there’s no point…